faithanddagger:

I don’t care who you are. If your girlfriend falls asleep in your lap, and even after 30 minutes when both of your legs go numb, don’t move. You fucking stay there and appreciate the cute little thing in your lap. If you move you’re weak and natural selection is coming for you.

(via underbree)

j0iryyde:

well dang…
How I flirt

 ∘☽ ∘ More Here ∘ ☾∘
dynastylnoire:

kriminals:

singapore’s local newspaper has no chill

SHOTS FIRED

reblogmyselfie:

I WLLL COME INTO YOUR HOUSE AND FUCKING nap with you

(Source: cumrn, via lost-1n-wond3rland)

quixon:

thebigblackwolfe:

frantzfandom:

girilla-warfare:

the-average-gatsby:

the-average-gatsby:

how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber

ask them to pronounce “unionized”

Holy fuck thats clever

It took me 5 minutes to get this

FUCK

Oh fuck you.

Smart people jokes be like

(via serenagold)

dogthing2:

HAPPY MOMMY HAPPY BABIES
troyeboyxtilly:

youtubers-ugh:

halloween is soon 
its transparent

Drag it nowOr on mobile tap it
m-ooonn:

she sat in the water for like an hour, just staring at the water peacefully